Dad and I spent the day together

November 6, 2009

I had to take Dad for a doctor's appointment in Yarmouth. Mom usually goes with us but she was not feeling well so she decided to stay home.

We went shopping to Walmart, bought bathroom faucets at Home Hardware, looked at tv's at Roger's Furniture and ate lunch at the local Chinese restaurant. Surprised me that Dad wanted to eat there as he does not like that food.

Unfortunately I left my camera at home. *Note to self* take camera with me whenever I leave the house.

Dad has had been battling depression these last few months. I thought that it was the onset of Alzheimer's. I never knew that depression could do that much to a person. He was getting confused with things, losing interest in everything and was not eating. He lost 25 lbs in 2 months. Too much of a weight loss in such a short amount of time. He would sit in his chair day in and day out. He was seeing things that weren't there. He had a bit of a break down. He thought that his house and body was infected with insects and he was taking a needle and digging at himself to get rid of these bugs. "The bugs" were in his cuticles, in a spot on his face and all over his stomach and legs. Imagine the mess that he was in. He had open sores all over his body. I got him in to see a doctor. Not his family doctor but at that time any doctor would do. Turns out that this infestation is a form of delusional parasitosis. I though that the doctor was nuts himself and that my dad is in some form of dementia. With me asking Dad questions and the doctor looking in his file, he has been on Adavan for years and Dad admitted to abusing it. The doctor seems to think that this brought on the delusional parasitosis. He was prescribed an anit-psychotic drug. It calmed him down a bit but he was still picking at himself and at the wood flooring and the wooden table. Had to kill these bugs. After a while of going back and forth to the doctors and an increase in the drugs and me controlling his medication, he's finally gotten over that.

During all of this time Dad was insisting on being hospitalized. He had tests done to make sure that he is physically fine, which he was so he is being treated on an outpatient basis by his doctor. He was put on a nerve pill to help pick up his appetite and help him to sleep which he hasn't been doing. He also has to see a psychiatrist who has put him on another nerve pill to coordinate with the other pills that he's on. I still wasn't convinced that dementia wasn't in play here. The psychiatrist done a simple test and he passed and put my mind at ease. He's finally getting some sleep. His appetite still isn't the best. He's taking a bit more interest in things and driving a bit more. He was refusing to drive for quite a while. He said that he didn't trust himself.

I had him to his appointment with the psychiatrist last Friday. She is changing his pills. He is now on half the dose of adavan. When I filled up his container with his cocktail of pills he a bit of an anxiety attack when he seen me breaking those pills in half. He said that he needed them. They help him. But he tells me and his doctors that he wants to be off of them. I didn't tell mom of this because I don't want to worry her anymore.

What has bothered me and him is how depression has really affected him. To me he has always been strong. He could take on the world. I did see a bit of anxiety over the years but never thought anything of it. He was in the army. Old school army. Where any show of emotion showed weakness. He was a firm believer in that. This has showed him that he is human. That people have weaknesses. He's had a hard time coping with this. I had a hard time coping with this to. I've never seen someone so strong become so weak in a short amount of time. Someone that I had always depended on now dependent on me. It's like watching someone literally shrivel up. He is building himself back up. It's taking time and lots of medication but eventually he will be off of it.

If you suffer from depression, get help. If you know of someone suffering from depression, get them help. I have seen first hand what it can do to a person. It's not good.

To get back to what I was originally posting about (I sometimes channel Edith Bunker). I wished that I had my camera with me to take pictures of Dad eating. He pretty much cleaned his plate. I was so impressed with him. I did save our fortunes from our cookies. I usually don't believe in these things, I just like the cookies.

This was mine. It is true.



This one was Dad's



And you know what he told me? He said I do love you. Never heard him say that before in my life. It's an emotion and remember emotions shows weakness.